My oldest brother suffered a stroke a week ago and is soon going to be on his way to heaven. He was the patriarch of our family, beloved by so many people. It's hard to let him go. This man is simply amazing and inspiring - and because he is so inspiring I want to share just a few things about him in the hopes that you'll be inspired, too.
My brother is 82 (and yes he's a lot older than me so don't even go trying to do the math). Before a stroke felled him he was coaching his grandson's basketball team, taking voice lessons (and entering competitions right up against college kids), doing yard work for his daughter, attending a guys' Bible study, planning fun and games for family events and helping anyone and everyone who needed it. Talk about living a full life right up to the end! Brother Ben never held an office. He wasn't a war hero (a bad eye kept him out of the service). He never wrote a book. But his life was a book on kindness and self-sacrifice, open for all to read. He and his wife took in foster kids, hosted countless parties for their own children and their friends. His home has been the extended family's gathering place for years and he and his equally generous wife have happily hosted Thanksgiving, Christmas, family reunions and Fourth of July celebrations. When we need a place to gather we go to Ben's. He has helped family and friends with building projects and given tirelessly of his time and building talents. He had a double lot on our family compound and there he built everything from slides to tree houses and zip lines. Oh, yes, and he constructed a miniature airplane kids could ride in that would tip from side to side. We called the fanciful backyard BennyLand. Our kids, his grandkids and any other kids who were around enjoyed BennyLand. Even more, we all enjoyed Benny himself. He was a crazy, fun-loving tease and he made life fun for everyone. He certainly made my life fun, acting as a second father to me over the years, crashing my book signings in goofy costumes, teasing me relentlessly. I loved every minute of it. I've loved every minute of our life together as siblings. Benny, I'll miss you more than words can say. (And Sammy, you'd better stick around for a while!) I think about all my brother has done with his life and it makes me want to do more, be more, bring more joy to those I love. It's such a short time we get here on Earth. I want to follow in my brother's footsteps and spend my time wisely and well. Big shoes to fill, as the saying goes, and the clock is ticking. How about you? Is there someone in your life who inspires you? My challenge for myself and maybe for you, too, is to start moving beyond inspiration and into action. Lord, let me follow my brother's good example of kindness and generosity. Help me to do my part to make this world a better place.
24 Comments
Sybille Sturm
2/23/2016 09:20:35 am
He is a very smart men. I believe it is very funny too met him. Enjoy this moments with your lovely family!
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Mary
2/23/2016 09:31:51 am
Oh, Sheila! How I wish that I could find words to offer that would be of some comfort. I'm so very sorry. Thank you for sharing this glimpse into your heart. You are blessed in many ways - this brother, your unshakable faith, your ability to open your heart and share it so profoundly ...
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2/23/2016 10:57:22 am
Thank you Mary. I'm so happy people are taking time to read about his life.
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Holly Duggan
2/23/2016 09:35:24 am
What a beautiful tribute to your brother! What a wonderful man, he just looks so full of joy!
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Jacki
2/23/2016 09:36:04 am
Thanks for sharing your big brother! I really enjoyed reading about his life. Hoping for peace for you and your entire family.
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rosanne
2/23/2016 09:48:31 am
i sooo understand your feelings....My oldest sister died in Dec, just after Christmas...Marge lived next door and we have lived each others lives for years. We shopped, traveled, "library'd", gym'd, walked , coffee'd, ate, and yes, read together. Just so happy and content to be in each others company. She was alot older than me, too, always there to listen to me and give advice. And now I have inherited her heartbroken hubby, to help him thro his grief, feed him and run his errands...I do this happily, for my sis. She loved your books and spent her last days with her kindle in her hands.
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2/23/2016 10:59:49 am
So sorry for your loss Rosanne. Sounds like you two had a relationship similar to ours. Our big fun thing to do together was make the rounds of the local thrift stores. And singing. Not sure I'll ever be able to sing O Holy Night again.
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Debra Godfrey (Sheldon)
2/23/2016 02:25:50 pm
We just want you to know we are praying for the family! We love all of you. He truly has been an inspiration to our family and we have been blessed to be a part of this amazing family.
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Janie K
2/23/2016 03:31:17 pm
So sorry about your brother. What a wonderful man. Know that many are thinking of you and praying for you. Thank you for sharing about him.
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2/23/2016 09:59:57 pm
I do think it's important to honor the good things others have done, don't you? And my brother certainly deserved honor.
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2/23/2016 04:40:52 pm
Your brother sounds like an awesome man, Sheila - in the family genes! ;) Will be uplifting him and your family in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGZ!)) - Stacy (aka Shelly Swenson)
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Kelly Methey
2/23/2016 05:24:43 pm
What a wonderful, heartfelt tribute to your brother. He sounds like an amazing man that led an extraordinary life. My heart goes out to you.
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Catrina Tolley
2/25/2016 06:52:15 pm
Thank you for sharing your story about your brother. Its a wonderful story. Sending you and your family prayers during this time of need. God Bless you.
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Wendy Theisen
3/14/2016 12:33:09 pm
Dear Sheila, Thank you for sharing this Beautiful tribute/acknowledgment of your brother. He sounds like Such an incredible Blessing to those around him!! I have been Blessed to know and love some wonderful people also. It can be So Hard to say goodbye to them. We can be happy for them that they are going to be with God- But So Sad for our loss!!
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Cathy Gendrkn
3/14/2016 04:36:00 pm
Brother Ben sounds like an amazing person who enriched many lives and with God's Grace he will be leaving quite a legacy for those who's lives he touched and inspired.
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Caryn Horn
3/14/2016 11:33:21 pm
So sorry to hear about your brother. My mom had a stroke the day before Thanksgiving and passed in January. She was a strong Army wife and didn't want to give up control so she left. She was almost 96 too. Losing family is hard whether you're close to them or not but in your case your brother was such a special part of your life that you will miss him when he decides to leave. I lost my oldest son last year and he comes back to visit. When I feel really down about the losses he puts his arms around me. I love those hugs and I bet you'll have some from your brother on occasion. Blessings to you and your family.
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Regina Harte
3/15/2016 04:54:15 pm
Sheila, I am so sorry for your loss. Reading the story about your Brother brought tears to my eyes. You could really feel your love in the story and you gave us all a glimpse at a truly extraordinary man. May God Bless him and your family too.
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